Monday, May 7, 2012

The whipping whirling roller coaster!

Horror was exactly how I felt, as I went up the terrifying roller coaster. It was a magnificent sight but I was not to sure about the ride. As the air wrapped around my face, a big splash of freezing cold water splished and splashed around me.

By Meg!

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5 comments:

grantsbraes said...

Great Work I liked it ad in some more smilies next time

From Sophie

grantsbraes said...

Hi Meg,
I love how you described how you felt about the ride,
You all so used great adjectives in this awesome piece of writing. Try and use more similes to make your writing more lively!!!

From Dayna.

grantsbraes said...

Hi Meg, it was great how you used the word Horror so we could feel what the character was feeling and that it was terrifying. Those were great describing words. Next time you could describe whether there were jumps and jolts or use the 5 senses.

Abe

grantsbraes said...

i love how you described how it felt going down the roller coaster try and put in some strong similies next time!

from anaya

grantsbraes said...

Lovely work Meggy!
I like how you used strong adjectives

from Olivia!!!!!!!