Monday, May 7, 2012

Scuba diving!!!!


Splash!!!!!!as I dived in the freezing cold and deep water.I could not believe how many tiny fish there were . I touched the bottom of the sea and it was all slimy. I saw a tiny shark behind me but I just got out."phewh"I said.

By Ella!!!!!!!

7 comments:

grantsbraes said...

i liked how you said spalsh as i jumped into the freezing cold water and you need to work on adding more similes and more intresting bits

grantsbraes said...

Well done Ella! Maybe next time add some similies and you need to edit some places. Great use of ajectives!
From Meg

grantsbraes said...

nice work Good adgectives

grantsbraes said...

Your writing is so cool


By Josh

grantsbraes said...

Hi Ella
One thing I like about your writing is your strong verbs.I think you could add some similies in your writing.:)


By Emilie

grantsbraes said...

Hi Ella
One thing I like about your writing is your strong verbs.I think you could add some similies in your writing.:)


By Emilie

grantsbraes said...

Hi Ella nice work on your writing I don't think you will need a wish